


Jade & Rose Ponder Fairytales

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [54]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Gen, Seinfeldian Conversations, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: For their part, they were doing a very good job staying out of trouble in the muddy creek, splashing about in all the water, looking for one thing in particular, a thing that Jade knew for a fact was on this island. She had caught many before, and even had to chastise Becquerel when he kept eating all the venomous ones because she really liked picking them up, with gloves. But we are not here to think Becquerel's doggy thoughts, we are here to watch two girls go frog hunting in a muddy creek on a tropical-ish island, and that is what we will now proceed to do.54/365
Relationships: Rose Lalonde & Jade Harley
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [54]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Kudos: 8





	Jade & Rose Ponder Fairytales

Rainboots and bare feet splattered into the mud of the most densely vegetated part of Hellmurder Island, as it was so aptly named. Above them, perching on a branch, a large, overprotective dog watched, fully prepared to bite the shit out of anything that even dared look at Jade funny. He didn't care too much about the other one, but he figured he might protect her anyway since Jade would be very upset if anything happened to her and might even not give him steak. That's not to say there was anything on the island really capable of harming either of the two, since Becquerel had taken care of most of those problems as they had arrived, but it's always good to keep an eye on your charges to ensure nothing bad is to ever happen to them, ever.

For their part, they were doing a very good job staying out of trouble in the muddy creek, splashing about in all the water, looking for one thing in particular, a thing that Jade knew for a fact was on this island. She had caught many before, and even had to chastise Becquerel when he kept eating all the venomous ones because she really liked picking them up, with gloves. But we are not here to think Becquerel's doggy thoughts, we are here to watch two girls go frog hunting in a muddy creek on a tropical-ish island, and that is what we will now proceed to do.

Jade hefted a big, fat frog aloft in both hands like she was cradling a precious artifact and fully prepared to tip it onto the floor and break it, thereby summoning a giant Indiana Jones boulder to chase her around for a little bit. But no, it was not a precious artifact - if anything, it was something even better, a Fucking Fat Froggo. "Look! He's so adorable! Look at how _fat_ he is! I bet he's a big fat regal frog that all the other frogs are jealous of because he eats the most flies!"

"You know, in various ancient texts they said if you were to kiss a frog then he'd turn into a prince. Or you'd get warts. Or, on occasion, both. Also, it's "envy", not "jealousy", in this instance, I do believe." Rose idly chattered, not much for the act of reaching down into the water and squeezing a frog into her awaiting double-gloved palms, but more than happy enough to entertain the flights of fancy of one of her close good friends.

"What do you think would happen if you kissed a girl frog?" Jade asked, idly setting the fat frog down on a nearby damp rock and giving it the tenderest of pets with her bare hands, going from head to the stumpy little ex-tail that all frogs possessed in one way or another. She ignored Rose's little grammatical correction. He, or she, the frog, was looking particularly bumpy, with loud, bulging eyes that blinked idly at the sensation of a gigantic warm tree giving it repeated thumps on the head. They were very tired, and would like to go make tadpoles now with a nearby frog they were croaking at minutes ago. Or maybe eat some flies. That would be good. "Would they turn into a prince, or a princess?"

"You'd get girl warts on your face, obviously." Rose intoned, laughing. She bent down, squatting over the frog, and gave it a little poke on the nose, to which it responded by jumping out and biting her finger. It didn't really hurt at all, it just felt like being gummed at by a particularly ornery marshmallow. The frog hung on tight, expecting Rose's colorfully gloved hands to yield delicious insect flesh, but after a couple of seconds of rough attempting chewing, it relented, letting go of Rose's finger and resting back on the wet frog while Jade began petting it again. "And, I don't know, I'd like to believe that princehood is not necessarily tied to one's gender. That seems awfully restrictive. So, at least in my little cursed fairytale headcanons, she would turn into a beautiful prince, and not a princess. I think princesses are gauche."

"Would you kiss a girl prince frog?" Jade asked, raising a teasingly-scandalized eyebrow at Rose. The frog slowly squished down into the rock, flattening itself against its surface, while above, in the canopy of trees, a dog teleported away to somewhere nearby. "I think I would consider it! Maybe. I have to think about it!"

"I would most certainly kiss a girl prince frog if it did not give me warts, male or female. I see no reason to limit myself in such a way barring the need to preserve my vanity like a true evil witch." Rose said, flourishing her hands dramatically outward, cool creek water feeling like it was beginning to seep into her boots. Or maybe it was just the temperature seeping through, without any of the moisture - she would hate to get her socks wet. "So if warts are part of the equation, then you'll have to count me out." She explained further, while Jade rubbed her chin with determined thought.

"I think I would just go to a dermatologist afterwards!" Jade answered, squeaking when the frog bounced away, into the creek, never to be found again. Thankfully, Becquerel popped up just then and there, paws damp in the dirty creekwater, to deposit a new frog into Jade's hands, before vanishing once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


End file.
